Marinate for...???

Sundays' message: (no lie)

There is this lovely place in life called the Neutral Zone. (I hate it already) It's between the "Wa-hoo! What a ride!" and the "Wow! That was some ride!"

It's where Jesus told the disciples to get back in the boat. He was not going to be made King by force and those knuckle-heads were dangerously close to presuming they knew what should happen next. So He made them get back into the boat with the scary waves and go far from what the thought they knew to wait. (How many letters are in the word wait? Exactly.)

This Neutral Zone is a place of desert wandering, it is a place of... I look to my right as I sit in my new church and what does the banner say... Be still and know that I am God. It is a place of being still and learning how to know that He is God. It is the place where you hear, "Tell them I AM sent you" and you know who I AM is.

"Yada" is an Old Testament Hebrew word for know. I like it. It means to obey, see, experience, conform, perceive, understand clearly, recognize - it wraps all that up in one fun word. Go ahead, say it.

"Ginosko" takes the word further still and adds to understand completely so that what is "known" is of value or importance to the one who knows, and hence the establishment of the relationship. Those Greeks, always ready to one-up a Hebrew.

This is all great, but I've never felt more empty or useless. I don't do "still" very well. My wise husband suggested that I not try to package, file, organize and put away my devotional time for awhile. He thinks I should just let it marinate. Quietly. Stillishly. So that God can speak and I can hear.

Devotion for Monday: (no lie)

Summarized from A Cry for Mercy by Henri J. M. Nouwen

I call to you, Lord, from my quiet darkness. Show me your mercy and love. Let me see your face, hear your voice, touch the hem of your coat. I want to love you, be with you, speak to you, and simply stand in your presence. But I cannot make it happen. Pressing my eyes against my hands is not praying, and reading about your presence is not living in it.

But there is that moment in which you will come to me, as you did to your fearful disciples, and say, "Do not be afraid; it is I." Let that moment come soon! And if you want to delay it, then make me patient.

Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

When we are willing to regard the Lord for who He is, we are humbled at His feet and we realize our weakness in a way that doesn't demoralize us, but to helps us to hear the way He has for us. Only then can we ginosko Him so that He is ever present in our minds and awareness.

I take the wisdom of my husband and simply pass on the information as it's been given to me. I'm off to marinate...

I'd rather squirm, please

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

It's easy to prescribe this verse. It's not so easy to act on it when the being still means crawling in and staying quietly put in a scenario you don't like in a place where you don't want to be. I don't mean a literal location. I'm talking about the place where you know you have to go to grow, to be stretched and refined.

It's as miserable as it is exciting. Miserable because it's miserable. Exciting because experience promises that I'll be closer to God, happier, stronger, more well-equipped for having sat.

To be completely honest - that's point of a blog, right? might as well play by the rules - I've never sat long enough to be still and know that He is God. I've never even come close to the being still part let alone the knowing.

I've got a lot banging off the walls of me right now. I want to put it all in order, file it, organize it and be done with it. That's how I roll. It's not working. The boxes keep dumping over, making messes.

So I've decided. I'm crawling in. I'm sitting still. I'm not coming out until I know that He is God because I'm desperate to know that.

I'll let you know...

Random ADD moment... This afternoon we met two fancy little girls from our church. Their dad was installing the lights at the new volleyball court located directly outside our window. : ) That's right, I'm smiling about that.

The 7 year old (my favorite first grade age) took the glass of iced tea I gave her, had a swig and said, "Uh, I wish this was sweeter. " She hands me back the glass. "I'll have like 2 more packets. Go ahead."

So I put 2 more granules of sugar in the glass because, yes I did run right into the house to make her sweet tea sweeter.

She also told me that wood is not good for rakes and we should buy a new one, that Tucker has a good sense of humor, that pincher bugs like my kids toys and my swing so we should change our porch, that Jason could be my son (whatever!), that we need more toys but she'll play with anything I've got and that I should learn to play soccer. She also said she's getting a little bit shorter because she drinks coffee... I like her (and am not surprised by the coffee).