Soapbox Love and War

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

So we've been doing some "fighting" in our new home. Our cool coffee shop church plant is not so welcome here if you're asking certain authorities. They fight dirty. They threaten your kids. That threatens you. But it also forces you to go further than you ever would for yourself.

Here's what I learned this week:

Nothing in this world can replace a Godly husband. I'm pretty tough. He's tougher. When the fight got too much for me, I didn't have to ask, he was already right there. Him and God - they took care us. No other man could have done what he did.

I thank God for Jeremy. Twice I wanted to be married so bad -everyone else was doing it, I was already 26 for crying out loud and there was a willing boy. But they weren't the right guys. I knew it.

Thank God for those break-up tears. I'd much rather have cried those than the tears of being married to the wrong guy or to a guy who didn't love Jesus more than himself and me and our girls. How tragic to have almost settled for even a great life with someone else.

To waste your heart for even one date on a person who isn't ALREADY ready to be your teammate for Jesus is the saddest, most horrifying choice I can fathom now.

Here's what else I learned:

I saw in my mind the Revelation Jesus with King of Kings and Lord of Lords tattooed on His thigh. I felt just a sliver of His power. He reminded me of something Jason said -that God never stops. Never sleeps. Never hesitates. God reminded me that I don't live in Satan's realm. I live in His. Psalm 24: The earth is the Lord's and all who live in it.

He told me to stop making Him smaller than me. Ouch! I act like I need to go to the front line to fight and I allow God to come up behind me and do what He can. He told me that He rages for me, for my family every moment. He said He's an awful (meaning amazing) God and He will not be defeated.

I'm supposed to learn to live in the refuge of this Revelation God so He can rage for me. I don't know how. I have to change my perspective, my gut reaction so that my reality is to recognize God first and not the battle. I'm excited that this will be my new reality. It's a permanent soul vacation. But I'm not so good at it yet.

Why would God ask someone who's not so good at the basics to plant a church? So He can be glorified?! In my weakness He is strong. 1 Cor 2 - it's an incredibly freeing and inspiring and scary chapter for a control freak. I feel it. I aspire to it.

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out. Eph 6:11-13 The Message

Roller Coasters

Ever feel like you're on the beginning part of the roller coaster when you're barely moving at all as you climb the massive hill one nerve-racking click at a time, but you know what's coming - you know you're about to move at an incredible rate of speed? That's how I feel today. I feel like we are on the God coaster and it's about to crest the hill, take off and there's no promise of ever stopping.

I feel so unprepared. I feel like there's no way I could ever be ready for this.

We've been praying for this unknown place and this church plant and faceless people for 5 years. All we knew was that we were supposed to start a church ...someday. For the past year we've known we were to come to Burlington to open a coffee shop, so we've been praying for UVM, for the spiritual heritage here, for our home, for Pearl Street or Main Street (those were our location choices). We've put all we are into this for a long time, but it as always something yet to come.

Then all of a sudden we started living this "yet to come." It's gone from someday to today in 2 seconds. It's too fast. I'm not ready.

I know what the correct response is. It doesn't change the gut tingling feeling that comes just before you plunge.

At church planters' boot camp we met two pastors who said (and this is pretty close to the direct quotes), "It's great to finally meet you. I've been praying for years for the people who would go to Vermont." One of those pastors is now our coach through this process.

At that same boot camp in Texas we met the pastor of Church of the Rock here in St. Albans. We chatted with him, shared our vision and now live in their church's house for free and they are paying the utilities and loving us and the girls and the entire church is making us part of the family.

We've been given free IT services, made connections with a sign company, were given a FREE espresso machine, we continue to meet people who "randomly" have connections to coffee roasters, who owned espresso bars, who run coffee church like we will... it's unreal. Every time we turn around, someone else is right there with a skill, a prayer, a connection or a resource we need (some we didn't even know we needed!) It's like God had this all planned out from the beginning.

Today we went to the block party for Care Net (a pregnancy clinic that counsels young girls and helps equip them to care for their baby) and met a pastor who runs an incredibly successful children's program every Saturday. I have such a burden for the single moms and dads in Burlington. I wanted to have a kids program at Apostrophe so the parents could come have free coffee while their kids are there. I want the parents. He's already doing the kids stuff.

We met a lady who owned a coffee bar who offered her services. We got the name and number of the person who is in charge of lambda iota AND we saw another house across the street that seems to be an even better fit. Then we went to a BBQ and heard how a family prayed over a house that wasn't on the market and out of their price range anyway. The next day, it was theirs. So we prayed for 371 PEARL St. Did I mention we've been praying for Pearl Street?

This is when I found myself on the coaster.

Maybe all this sounds inconsequential. To me it's like nearing the top of the hill. I can hear the clicks of the car digging into the track. I can only see the sky and nothing that even hints of the ride about to come. There's no way off now. Who'd ever get off and miss this!?

Wow, God!

we're here. we're back online. hallelujah! we're in awe of how God has already laid the groundwork for us. it's unbelievable. i know i should EXPECT God to be amazing - He is God. by definition He's amazing. i'm getting better at knowing Him more intimately like this.

it would take chapters, seriously, to tell you everything. i will, but let's start with this...

we've asked a lot of you to pray about how God would have you become part of the Stand church/ Apostrophe Coffee project. (consider this your invitation if you haven't already been asked!) if you are praying, please let us know. our prayer team is more important than even we realized.

here's why we need you...

when we lived in california, jeremy said he wanted to own a frat house at UVM. i secretly thought, "good luck with that. i'm not leaving this beach to live in the deep, deep, cold, cold snow." God thought, "lol."

we've been praying for God to give us the lambda iota house. it happens to be somewhat available. jeremy felt he should wait to contact anyone about the house until we were here and could do it in person. within days of us moving into our house, a woman who runs a local care net ministry "randomly" came to morning staff prayer at our church. they prayed for us and our pastor shared our prayer for the li house. to which she replied, "i know the people you need to talk to. we happen to be hosting a block party wednesday (tomorrow). you should come so i can introduce you.

pray, friends, pray!

i can't wait to tell you what happens!

please let us know if you will commit to pray 4 minutes a day for us, for the girls, for Apostrophe and Stand. please let us know if you will help us financially to be ready to open Apostrophe when the li house opens for us! we need monthly support for the next 2 years.

love you!