So I do believe I am finally "still".
Huh.
Huh.
This is just to let you know, I guess. I can't think of any words to describe the realization. I'm still and quiet.
Do you think all of heaven just sighed and moaned, "Finally!"?
I highly recommend picking up a little "still" if you have the means. The journey sucks. Enjoy yourself.
I sense there's a lot of work around the corner. Not the soul-crushing kind. I've quit that nonsense (Lesson 3 of the journey), but work nonetheless. So I'm going to sit and enjoy this. Build a monument or two to it, Merl!
I wonder who I'll be on the other side of this? I keep meeting an improved version of myself on this ride. It's fun. Let that be your encouragement if you feel you may be embarking on the quest to be still and know. I also sense that I'm actually just being stiller. Like God is smiling and nodding that you think THIS is good nod. He rocks my world.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
So You Had A Bad Day
Remember that song? It's catchy.
Here's how you know you had a good day...
1. There's a Burger King crown involved
2. You wake up and hear the ocean (and you're not marooned - that would blow it)
3. You decide to see a better slant than the one that was ticking you off and you get through
4. You can share strength with a friend because you've been there
5. You're not "there" any more
6. You eat cheese and don't give a rip about how deep the fat valley created around your upper thigh by your bathing suit is
7. You laugh at yourself...repeatedly and enjoy it
8. You lay on the kitchen floor and sing (alone or with your kids...who am I to judge)
9. You can think of at least 10 amazing memories you've had with people you love
10. You know that, come-what-may, Jesus never fails. NEVER. That's really something if you possess that. It's easy to spout that when you're a Christian, but when it exists when all else is dry, that's real. When your world shakes but, surprisingly even, that truth does not, it's inspiring. It's like a brick wall for your mind and soul to lean on and rest. When you want to run away from everything except Jesus, you've had a good day. It's a perspective thing perhaps. But I know now that when I preach it I'm also living it. That's good news for me. I guess I had a good day! (Even though that cheese thing was about... my neighbor...)
Here's how you know you had a good day...
1. There's a Burger King crown involved
2. You wake up and hear the ocean (and you're not marooned - that would blow it)
3. You decide to see a better slant than the one that was ticking you off and you get through
4. You can share strength with a friend because you've been there
5. You're not "there" any more
6. You eat cheese and don't give a rip about how deep the fat valley created around your upper thigh by your bathing suit is
7. You laugh at yourself...repeatedly and enjoy it
8. You lay on the kitchen floor and sing (alone or with your kids...who am I to judge)
9. You can think of at least 10 amazing memories you've had with people you love
10. You know that, come-what-may, Jesus never fails. NEVER. That's really something if you possess that. It's easy to spout that when you're a Christian, but when it exists when all else is dry, that's real. When your world shakes but, surprisingly even, that truth does not, it's inspiring. It's like a brick wall for your mind and soul to lean on and rest. When you want to run away from everything except Jesus, you've had a good day. It's a perspective thing perhaps. But I know now that when I preach it I'm also living it. That's good news for me. I guess I had a good day! (Even though that cheese thing was about... my neighbor...)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Stand Church and Apostrophe Coffee
We added the "Donate" button to our blogs and fb pages. That makes me squirm in my seat a little. It's a wild thing, this missionary/church planter life. Some days it feels like there's so much happening and I really want God to slow down. Other days I'm tapping my foot impatiently and whining for Him to do something.
Thank you for reading and commenting and letting me know you're still out there with us! It's lifeblood to me.
Even though we are pretty good at being us. God decided that we will do this new assignment even better if we spent some time with us - got to know us again. I guess that's part of this being still. I'm seeing myself from the outside in is the only way I can explain it. And Jeremy... oh girls, I'm sorry you can't be married to him. Could there be a better man in all the world? I think not. He's a little slice of heaven right here in my living room.
So we're here. Pastors and now church planters. Every day we're working on us. There are days when we are meeting people in Burlington and in St. Albans who have been praying for whoever was coming to do this thing that God had burdened their hearts to pray about. And we talk to our mentor in Texas who watched a documentary on VT twice and prayed for us the entire time. We meet pastors who are already doing a children's ministry and have a relationship with the parents that I have a burden for, so we can join forces and do what God brought us here to do. We pray with people who are so passionate about the students at UVM and thank us for coming. And I'm amazed by God's clever attention to detail.
We've met contacts for the frat house, which led us to 371 Pearl. We met with the Realtor about that location. And now we're waiting. It's another of those slow down/hurry up deals. I can see God smiling at His timing and how it affects me. (That's the Jesus way of saying "drives me crazy"!) And also He smiles at what I'm learning because He sees how useful it will be down the road when all this comes together and we have students sitting in Apostrophe who invite us into the messy moments of their lives so we can show them how crazy in love with them Jesus has always been. That's why we're doing this. That's why we're sitting still and running forward - sometimes simultaneously.
Our prayer needs are for health and protection for our family, especially Sophia and Zoe; for the students at UVM; for the location (we're praying for the Holy Spirit to soak that place even now because it's God who will set us apart and create the atmosphere where students want to be); for favor with the zoning committee; for funds to buy the coffee house equipment because we need to be trained on it before we have to open and for funds to live. Hence the "Donate" button...squirm.
We are starting to meet with UVM students next month. Oh my! That's exciting! Stand Church begins! We'll be small enough to take them to coffee (recon work!) and to dinner. It's so crazy to realize that in the midst of all this we have planted a church. How great is God! He did it without us even knowing it.
I hope that gives you more than a glimpse into what we're doing here - what you're doing here. We feel your prayers. We see them at work. Believe me, there are days when we KNOW that we wouldn't make it without someone praying. Thank you! Keep praying for the Howards too!
Love you!
Melanie
Thank you for reading and commenting and letting me know you're still out there with us! It's lifeblood to me.
Even though we are pretty good at being us. God decided that we will do this new assignment even better if we spent some time with us - got to know us again. I guess that's part of this being still. I'm seeing myself from the outside in is the only way I can explain it. And Jeremy... oh girls, I'm sorry you can't be married to him. Could there be a better man in all the world? I think not. He's a little slice of heaven right here in my living room.
So we're here. Pastors and now church planters. Every day we're working on us. There are days when we are meeting people in Burlington and in St. Albans who have been praying for whoever was coming to do this thing that God had burdened their hearts to pray about. And we talk to our mentor in Texas who watched a documentary on VT twice and prayed for us the entire time. We meet pastors who are already doing a children's ministry and have a relationship with the parents that I have a burden for, so we can join forces and do what God brought us here to do. We pray with people who are so passionate about the students at UVM and thank us for coming. And I'm amazed by God's clever attention to detail.
We've met contacts for the frat house, which led us to 371 Pearl. We met with the Realtor about that location. And now we're waiting. It's another of those slow down/hurry up deals. I can see God smiling at His timing and how it affects me. (That's the Jesus way of saying "drives me crazy"!) And also He smiles at what I'm learning because He sees how useful it will be down the road when all this comes together and we have students sitting in Apostrophe who invite us into the messy moments of their lives so we can show them how crazy in love with them Jesus has always been. That's why we're doing this. That's why we're sitting still and running forward - sometimes simultaneously.
Our prayer needs are for health and protection for our family, especially Sophia and Zoe; for the students at UVM; for the location (we're praying for the Holy Spirit to soak that place even now because it's God who will set us apart and create the atmosphere where students want to be); for favor with the zoning committee; for funds to buy the coffee house equipment because we need to be trained on it before we have to open and for funds to live. Hence the "Donate" button...squirm.
We are starting to meet with UVM students next month. Oh my! That's exciting! Stand Church begins! We'll be small enough to take them to coffee (recon work!) and to dinner. It's so crazy to realize that in the midst of all this we have planted a church. How great is God! He did it without us even knowing it.
I hope that gives you more than a glimpse into what we're doing here - what you're doing here. We feel your prayers. We see them at work. Believe me, there are days when we KNOW that we wouldn't make it without someone praying. Thank you! Keep praying for the Howards too!
Love you!
Melanie
Friday, August 20, 2010
The County Fair
There's nothing like a good county fair to get you back to your roots... or ruuts as you might pronounce it after a day of fairin'. Yee ha!
Sophia and Zoe love, love, love farm animals. We've watched Baby Einstein Baby Mac Donald at least a million times. Yes, we do know all the songs by heart and find ourselves singing them in public when we're out WITHOUT the children. It's super really.
Grandma and Pop got them the Little People farm set for their birthday and the girls carry Moo, Neigh, Pig, Baa and Goat in their purses everywhere we go. Farmer has recently been accepted into the purse and is currently sleeping with Zoe in her crib.
We read the Day on the Farm book every single day and kiss each animal every single night before bed.
I tell you this so you can properly appreciate the pictures taken this week the Barton Fair where the girls saw farm animals for the first time.
They loved the cows. Have mercy! Am I raising 4-H'ers?? :) They are lamb whisperers. And Sophia danced for Ruby the calf.
Sophia was scared to death when she saw how big a horse head really is. She heard it neigh in the stall and got all excited until it stuck its ginormous head out the window. I still haven't regained full hearing in my left ear. They did pet every animal - no fear in these two - and used plenty of hand sanitizer.
And, despite their dad's lecture on how fair rides are hauled in on the back of a carnie's Ford and held together by a cotter pin, they rode the rides! Both girls loved the Scrambler and the giant slide we took them down on burlap sacks. Wow! I can't believe I'm writing this.
We did miss the tractor pulls, but we saw the bull pull (bulls yoked together pulling a sleigh filled with over 1,000 pounds of cement blocks...crazy) and got sausage sandwiches from a meat booth so all in all it was a great day! You don't get this in Vegas!
Sophia and Zoe love, love, love farm animals. We've watched Baby Einstein Baby Mac Donald at least a million times. Yes, we do know all the songs by heart and find ourselves singing them in public when we're out WITHOUT the children. It's super really.
Grandma and Pop got them the Little People farm set for their birthday and the girls carry Moo, Neigh, Pig, Baa and Goat in their purses everywhere we go. Farmer has recently been accepted into the purse and is currently sleeping with Zoe in her crib.
We read the Day on the Farm book every single day and kiss each animal every single night before bed.I tell you this so you can properly appreciate the pictures taken this week the Barton Fair where the girls saw farm animals for the first time.
 |
| Soph put on a good show! |
Sophia was scared to death when she saw how big a horse head really is. She heard it neigh in the stall and got all excited until it stuck its ginormous head out the window. I still haven't regained full hearing in my left ear. They did pet every animal - no fear in these two - and used plenty of hand sanitizer.
And, despite their dad's lecture on how fair rides are hauled in on the back of a carnie's Ford and held together by a cotter pin, they rode the rides! Both girls loved the Scrambler and the giant slide we took them down on burlap sacks. Wow! I can't believe I'm writing this.
We did miss the tractor pulls, but we saw the bull pull (bulls yoked together pulling a sleigh filled with over 1,000 pounds of cement blocks...crazy) and got sausage sandwiches from a meat booth so all in all it was a great day! You don't get this in Vegas!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Life is like a box of choices
You know what I love about St. Albans, Vermont? I love that we have met so many people who are experts at having perspective. Jeremy told me yesterday that life is all about perspective. He told Sophia that life is all about choices. He's so wise...whatever.
It's true. Not because he said it, because I'm saying it now. See. Perspective. : )
It has been something close to chatting with God Himself to talk to people who have lived through things I don't even want to watch an after-school special about. The conversations are one thing. It's watching them live when no one is watching that blows my mind.
Granted, I don't see them behind their fake trees (next blog) but I do see them worshiping and praying and it seems to be a glimpse into a slice of the "real" them. What I see is that they're there, worshiping and praying, when they could be somewhere else feeling bad, chasing justification for what's been unfair.
I see that they have managed to/ chosen to let go of their perspective long enough to put God before themselves. That's amazing to me because it means they chose to believe that it was better to praise than to be angry, better to thank than to grieve -- even if just for those moments. That's humbling.
That says a lot about God. That He has proven Himself worthy of that kind of "laying down", that kind of trust and love.
Life's a process. Blah!
It's true. Not because he said it, because I'm saying it now. See. Perspective. : )
It has been something close to chatting with God Himself to talk to people who have lived through things I don't even want to watch an after-school special about. The conversations are one thing. It's watching them live when no one is watching that blows my mind.
Granted, I don't see them behind their fake trees (next blog) but I do see them worshiping and praying and it seems to be a glimpse into a slice of the "real" them. What I see is that they're there, worshiping and praying, when they could be somewhere else feeling bad, chasing justification for what's been unfair.
I see that they have managed to/ chosen to let go of their perspective long enough to put God before themselves. That's amazing to me because it means they chose to believe that it was better to praise than to be angry, better to thank than to grieve -- even if just for those moments. That's humbling.
That says a lot about God. That He has proven Himself worthy of that kind of "laying down", that kind of trust and love.
Life's a process. Blah!
Fake Trees
So about this sitting still... All I hear are the lyrics to In The Secret and I think back to Prayer and Praise at Vanguard when the song was new and cheesy and I see us peeking through the fake trees every time the band sang "in the stillness you are there". I know it's wrong. But it was funny.
Today the song is old and cheesy, but on it plays in my head. There's truth to it. I do want to know You more. I do want to hear Your voice. But can I be honest? I can. I might be the only person who reads this. And, I'm really not complaining. It's just simple fact that might make more sense spilled out here.
I'm so burnt out on the still, on the waiting, on the fact that we left our friends and my fancy 1st grade class room (which was the last place I felt really "put-together") and I feel like I'm fading from that life like Michael J Fox in his Back to the Future picture. Why did we do that again?
There are lots of great ideas. Lots of words. Lots of dreams. But I'm sitting still and emptying more and more every day to the point that I don't know...anything any more.
It's scary, this kind of empty. It's annoying, but freeing. It's maddening, but calm. In the way, way back of my mind I think it might be good. But every other part of me is not so sure that way, way back isn't where crazy lives. ; *
Today the song is old and cheesy, but on it plays in my head. There's truth to it. I do want to know You more. I do want to hear Your voice. But can I be honest? I can. I might be the only person who reads this. And, I'm really not complaining. It's just simple fact that might make more sense spilled out here.
I'm so burnt out on the still, on the waiting, on the fact that we left our friends and my fancy 1st grade class room (which was the last place I felt really "put-together") and I feel like I'm fading from that life like Michael J Fox in his Back to the Future picture. Why did we do that again?
There are lots of great ideas. Lots of words. Lots of dreams. But I'm sitting still and emptying more and more every day to the point that I don't know...anything any more.
It's scary, this kind of empty. It's annoying, but freeing. It's maddening, but calm. In the way, way back of my mind I think it might be good. But every other part of me is not so sure that way, way back isn't where crazy lives. ; *
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Perspective
Still sitting...
Getting closer to "being still", I think.
I'm having fun not taking a sparkle of an idea from God and immediately making it gospel truth that is my job to carry out. Instead I'm having conversations with God about those sparkles. We're throwing them back and forth and I'm enjoying this time with God. I'm seeing Him here in the still - getting to know Him. I'm pleasantly surprised that "still" is not at all stagnant.
I realized -- well, there's no credit for me really -- God showed me today that bringing this church plant to fruition is not the reason I'm on this journey. It's to get to know God better. To become more the person I'm supposed to be. It's a chance to be with Him, not to do for Him.
I'm tearing down more and more of the rickety construction I worked with such futility to maintain and allowing God to build me back up. It's okay to trust God to be God. That's a tough one. You never can tell what He'll go and do. One of my best friends lives in Uganda for crying out loud! : )
I also heard about a Phantom Pooper this week. That's right. A disgruntled employee was leaving poops at the job as retribution for...does it matter? He was pooping. Now I know my family will always be normal. And so are you. Unless you're a pooper. Then you're a super kind of special, should get a little help, and know that I love ya anyway! Thanks for reading this!
Getting closer to "being still", I think.
I'm having fun not taking a sparkle of an idea from God and immediately making it gospel truth that is my job to carry out. Instead I'm having conversations with God about those sparkles. We're throwing them back and forth and I'm enjoying this time with God. I'm seeing Him here in the still - getting to know Him. I'm pleasantly surprised that "still" is not at all stagnant.
I realized -- well, there's no credit for me really -- God showed me today that bringing this church plant to fruition is not the reason I'm on this journey. It's to get to know God better. To become more the person I'm supposed to be. It's a chance to be with Him, not to do for Him.
I'm tearing down more and more of the rickety construction I worked with such futility to maintain and allowing God to build me back up. It's okay to trust God to be God. That's a tough one. You never can tell what He'll go and do. One of my best friends lives in Uganda for crying out loud! : )
I also heard about a Phantom Pooper this week. That's right. A disgruntled employee was leaving poops at the job as retribution for...does it matter? He was pooping. Now I know my family will always be normal. And so are you. Unless you're a pooper. Then you're a super kind of special, should get a little help, and know that I love ya anyway! Thanks for reading this!
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